Four of Coins - April

 We have a green card for April so time to focus on the heart chakra.  

A man stands cradling the four coins, he has a focused, serious gaze but his hands look relaxed. His guard is up but a part of him wants to open his heart. Behind him rays of light shine through a path of trees, and before him we have some gold creatures flying. Are they fairies or butterflies, or both?

This man needs to put the coins down for a while and relax. The coins aren’t heavy but he’s not able to move forward easily whilst he cradles them the way he is. The problem is if he puts them down he fears he might lose them. Wonder how long he’s been holding them? Does he even remember why he has them?!

If he puts them down he can dance and play with the fairies. He can turn around and see the new path and opportunity beckoning behind him. He just needs to relax and look, it’s already there. Is he missing out on new growth due to the fear or going down a new path?

What do you need to let go of this month that no longer serves you? In what area of your life are you being this man?

If there’s been a path calling you that you’ve been avoiding, maybe now is the time to take a step towards it and see where it leads. Open your heart to new possibilities.

The Devil - March

Are you holding yourself back, or is someone or something else? Be honest with yourself.

Is the dark figure behind her someone she can't see yet or is it her shadow? A side of her she is yet to acknowledge perhaps.

Spend time this month going within. We all have a shadow side. What does yours want you to know? Does it need healing for you to move forward?

Meditate on these questions for insight on what may be keeping you stuck. 

The orange of this card, and her dress, link to the sacral chakra. Allow yourself to play and be creative this month, don't let a lack of confidence hold you back. 

Believe in yourself and treat yourself with compassion. 

Three of Wands - February

Where did January go? I kept seeing loads of comments online saying how it was dragging, but to me that flew by!

I hope you had a good first month and are safe. On to February. 

This month is all about the three of wands. 

She has ideas, dreams and she has the passion to work towards them. She can see where she wants to be and is putting a plan in place to make it happen. 

Look at that wave coming towards her. Remember to keep checking in with your emotions though. One to ensure your still going the right way, does it still feel right? Two, don't let yourself become overwhelmed, feel your way before jumping in.

It's a yellow card so linked to the solar plexus. Know that what you're visualising you can make happen, have confidence and believe. Let yourself shine! 

Rediscovering my creative mojo. (How do I find a muse?)

 I’ve always said that I could write a book about procrastination, but I’m to busy procrastinating to get it started, and finished! Seriously I was meant to write this blog last weekend but somehow didn’t. What did I do instead? I have no idea! Oh, I did add some photos of my paintings to a Facebook craft fair album and I planned out the colour of the week notes. So, I wasn’t 100% idle.

So, I’ve been thinking, why do I procrastinate? I know what I want to do, write a book, paint, create a deck of oracle cards, so why do I then sit on the sofa scrolling through social media and do daft personality tests such as “What crystal are you?” or “Would you survive in a horror film?”. The answers to which are Jasper and yes, I would survive. Good to know.

On honest reflection I believe I stop myself because of imposter syndrome. Deep down I have the belief that my art and writing aren’t good enough. Especially my writing. I’ve sold paintings online and at craft fairs over the years, so the little voice asking, “why are you bothering?” has begun to be more silent in that respect. But writing. That voice is still there loud and clear.

“But you’re not a good writer.”

“What have you got to say that anyone will be interested in?”

“Who do you think you are? JK Rowling, Shakespeare?”

“Who’s going to read it?”

Thanks to my lovely inner critic I decided to investigate where these thoughts/beliefs came from, I wasn’t born with them, so I picked them up along this journey of life somewhere.

I was always that pupil at school who use to fill her English books with poems and short stories. I was lucky to have English teachers who didn’t mind this, (shout out to Mr. Mayne and Mrs. Osman) saying they would leave my book till last when marking so they could relax and read at the end of the day. I welcomed the constructive feedback they gave “describe the atmosphere more here.” “I want to know this character’s back story.” It was massive help in my learning and a great introduction to the world of re-drafting.

Therefore, I’m still not sure where the negative thoughts come from. In my quest to delve deeper I came across a Tarot spread looking at creative blocks. Out came the cards to give it a go. The following is what I got.

Card 1 - My ideal creative self. 8 of Wands. I want to be someone who just goes for it, letting inspiration guide me, trusting the path and process. Someone who steps forward confidently. It’s a red card, so I want to be someone who is secure in their ability and knowledge.

Card 2 - My creative block. 3 of Swords. A lack of confidence, beating myself up and not feeling good enough, so self-sabotage. Why start at all? Holding on to past hurts and negativity. It’s yellow so I’m lacking confidence to just go for it.

Card 3 - Past influences/beliefs. Knight of Swords. I’m over thinking it so not starting at all, or I rush in without thinking first and end up then asking myself “what is this?” Harsh comments from the past are possibly still lingering deep down as well. A blue card so I’m not fully speaking my truth due to self-doubt. What do I want to say?

Card 4 - Fears about the future. 10 of Wands. Am I good enough? Imposter syndrome! Hello again. Also, a fear of success, where will it take me? Yellow, again a fear of not being good enough, but also change. By being more authentic and having the guts to jump in saying sod it, I no longer care what others think, what will I evolve into?

Card 5 - My creative sweet spot (what allows me to create effortlessly?). Judgement. Letting go of self-judgement and trusting myself. I feel I have always produced my best work when I just do it for me, for fun. I forget about an audience and let go of questions about what others will think. I just get the paints out or write for myself and let my inner child have fun. Violet. Let my creative guides guide me, trust the process and trust what comes to me.

Card 6 - What I must leave behind. Queen of Cups. Feelings of past hurts need to be let go. Also don’t be so emotional about it, as for me this leads to over thinking. When I over think I don’t start creating at all. Indigo. Let go of not trusting myself and my intuition. When given ideas act on them rather than worry whether I can do it.

Card 7 - What I must embrace to reclaim my creative power. The World. Believe that I can do it, I have all the skills and knowledge I need and I’m worthy. I’m already enough. This card has all the colours, so this is being balanced. Get myself into positive alignment and just start.

Thank you, Tarot, for that insight.

So, in answer to my inner critic!

“But you’re not a good writer.” I’m aware of my limitations, I don’t have a huge vocabulary range for example and grammar Nazi’s can sometimes have a field day with me. But the best thing about this is I know what my limitations are so I can keep improving. The more I create the better I’ll become.

“What have you got to say that anyone will be interested in?” Who knows? I’m just having fun here, if others like it great, if not that’s fine.

“Who do you think you are? JK Rowling, Shakespeare?”  Na, I write totally different to them. I also don’t paint like Van Gogh or Picasso. I paint and write as Keeley. It’s not everyone’s taste but then Shakespeare and JK Rowling aren’t everyone’s taste either, so there’s no issue.

“Who’s going to read it?”  No idea! Perhaps someone will stumble upon it and think this is interesting and perhaps another will move by thinking this isn’t for me. Both are fine. It will be found by whoever needs it. Perhaps my old English teachers will stumble across it and smile knowing they made a difference to a child. Perhaps no one, and that’s fine too, I’m still going to enjoy creating!

I’ve also stumbled across a course on www.dailyom.com called Discover Your Creative Writing Compass. This has so far given me a lot of insight and I’m only on lesson two. I’ll tell you more about how it’s going in the future.

Having already begun to change my way of thinking, I’m going to become that young girl again who would fill her English book with random stories and poems, simply because she enjoyed it. Where it takes me? Who knows, the mystery is going to be an enjoyable part of the journey. 

2020 (bye!), New Year and the Six of Cups.

 

Happy New Year to you all. I hope you’ve had a safe, healthy and happy season, even though it’s been a weird one for us! I think it’s safe to say 2020 was an unexpected rollercoaster.

On reflection I would say mine was rather good. Back before lockdown I got to visit a video location of my favourite band, Suede 😊 I think the smile says it all, it’s just a bridge to most but to me it’s an iconic location! If you want to check it out search Suede “The Drowners” on YouTube. Also note the pre lockdown great hair before the huge mistake of bleaching it!

I then moved in with a friend (managed it with two days to spare before lockdown kicked in back in March), this is so I can save for a mortgage and get my own place, bless her I’ll be eternally grateful that she let me do this.

The rest of the year was spent, like everyone else in lockdown and trying to figure out what the hell is going on. For us two introverts though not much else seemed different. I now have a garden, we spent most of the summer landscaping it and I now live with four beautiful, fluffy cats (they’ve been noisily zooming round the living room whilst I’m typing this!) Me and my housemate have however changed our names to Bernard and Manni (characters from the TV series Black Books) as that’s what we’ve both morphed into. I’m Manni if you’re wondering!

So, 2021, hello. Bernard and I have set ourselves some SMART goals for the year. One of mine is to blog more! 😂To start writing and painting again more regularly, save for a mortgage deposit (obviously), and to fully embrace the hippie, witchy me. My ‘more regular blogs’ will let you know of my progress.

The tarot spread for this year has eight major arcana! Yes, eight so lots of change and high energy is in store. The first card, and overall theme for the year ahead is Strength. So, whatever happens we can deal with. We need to let the year guide us to where we need to go, grow and have confidence in ourselves.

January’s card is the Six of Cups.

I love her! She is so mysterious. To me it looks like she has stepped through a portal, is she coming or going though? And where has she been, where is she trying to get to? Perhaps these are questions we need to ask ourselves right now, where do you want to be? If you’re not there yet what can you do to work out how to get there?

SMART goals were mentioned earlier, perhaps this will help you get a plan together. Note down where you want to be at the end of 2021 and give yourself steps, they don’t have to be big, small progress is still progress.

You need to hold yourself accountable though, only you can do this. The woman could find herself wondering in circles, going through door after door but never getting to her destination. Try not to fall into this cycle.

On that note I'm off to practice my own advice and get creating and planning! With a break to watch the new years day Doctor Who special of course! 😍 Have a great January.

Princess of Wands - December

 

She wonders through the forest with confidence, she knows where she is going and trusts the journey. Surrounded by butterflies and a stag, she is one with nature.

This month is one of growing confidence. It has been a strange year for all of us, lots of changes have been made and for many of us it has been a chance to find ourselves again and realise what is important.

The butterflies represent transformation, how do you want to evolve? We can come out of this stronger if we allow ourselves.

The stag is a strong leader, full of beauty, integrity and grace. Channel his energy as you move forward knowing you can achieve all you put your mind to.

We have the grounding energy of the earth teamed with the fire of the wand. Let the passion and inspiration guide you now whilst trusting you are safe and secure.

Nine of Swords - November

The woman is surrounded by dark clouds, nine swords are suspended above her and could drop at any moment. She looks down into a reflective surface, staring intently at herself, possibly seeking answers.

Look after yourself this month. It has been a difficult year for all of us and it is not over yet. A lot of us are going to be feeling scared, stressed and overwhelmed. Do not try to fight these emotions, do not bottle it up.

Take time to speak with someone you feel safe with, reach out. You are not alone. Connect with your spirit and reflect by meditating, journaling or even getting creative, paint your emotions if you want. No one needs to see it but you.

This is a sacral chakra card, orange. Listen to your gut. Become more aware of your body, what does it want and need? Probably some self-love. Also take note of the foods you eat. Pay attention to nutrition so you stay as healthy as possible.